


Broken, But Not Shattered

by AToTheJayToTheHizzy



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emile is Remy's partner, Familial sleepxiety - Freeform, It starts out as Roman/Logan/Patton with endgame LAMP, M/M, Multi, Please let me know if I need to add anything to the tags!!!, Remy Is Virgil's Brother, This is so angsty, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, Virgil's a traumatized boi, Virgil's parents are shit, domestic abuse, it has a happy ending i promise, tags update with each chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21907939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AToTheJayToTheHizzy/pseuds/AToTheJayToTheHizzy
Summary: Virgil's had it rough. He's been broken for years, and that's all there is too it. Logan, Patton, and Roman disagree. After all, when something's broken, you can piece it back together. Roman, Patton, and Logan know that Virgil's broken, not completely shattered, and that there's still time to save him.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 11
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: Please check the end notes for more details.
> 
> Grammarly keeps trying to change the phrase, “who the fuck” to “who, the fuck,” and that's just really funny to me for some reason.

“Come back here you little shit!” Declan yelled at Virgil, who was currently sprinting up the stairs. Making it up to the fourth floor, Virgil turned the corner, stumbling as he attempted to grab his keys out of his pocket. Finally making it to his door, he jammed the key into the lock, letting out a sound of anguish when it wouldn’t open. A second before he was going to give up and succumb to the figures chasing him, the door opened. Virgil gasped sharply as it felt more like the door had pulled him forward than it had felt as he opened but he didn’t dwell on it. 

As soon as the door opened, he slipped inside, slamming it closed behind him. Virgil let out a sob as he slid down the door, finally alone. 

Except that he wasn’t. There was a voice, voices, talking to him, telling him to do… something. But that made no sense; he didn’t have a dormmate, he (his name was Kyle or something similar Virgil absentmindedly recalls) had dropped out after the first month or two and the school had yet to find a replacement. So then who the fuck was talking to him, coaxing him out of a panic attack? Virgil wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Maybe Declan had sent some of his goons ahead to Virgil so that he wouldn’t lose him. But Declan (probably) didn’t know where his room was and he was  _ not  _ smart enough for that. Virgil attempted to listen to the voice(s?) through the waves of panic that were engulfing him. 

Numbers. The person talking to him was counting. Oh, they were counting for him to breathe. There was a hand on top of Virgil’s, he realized as the hand coaxed Virgil into letting go of the hair he had grabbed with his hand. Still listening to the voice counting (1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8) Virgil gasped as the hand that had been taken away from his hair was suddenly cold. Virgil focused on the grounding feeling of coldness in his hand as he tried to follow the breathing pattern. 

Eventually, Virgil was able to calm down. He slowly opened his eyes, which had previously been clenched shut, and looked around. The dorm was laid out just like most of the others; two beds against the wall across from the door, two nightstands and a window in between the beds. The corner desks were pushed up against the area between the beds and the sidewalls and the built-in wardrobes on Virgil’s left seemed to be very full (of both clothes and boxes of what he could only assume were more clothes or items similar to the random ones splattered across the room). The only light from the room was coming from some rainbow fairy lights that cast the room in a pleasant glow, the harsh overhead light having been turned off and the blinds on the window closed. Disney posters and broadway playbills covered the walls, to the point where you could barely see it. One of the beds was covered in stuffed animals and what looked to be  _ very  _ soft blankets. The other bed was overtaken by pillows and had a general theme of red and gold.

Finally, Virgil turned his head, looking up into the eyes of his saviors. He suddenly felt like he was going to have another panic attack. Virgil was looking at Roman Prince, Logan Sanders, and Patton  Felicity; a.k.a., the most popular and notable faces currently attending their college. They had taken the previous hatred put on them as the only openly poly couple in the school and turned it into positive attention, each one of them gaining a large number of friends in each department. They were practically royalty at the small school, and Virgil had just barged into their room and had a panic attack. “Hey, kiddo! It’s alright, breath!” Oh, right, breathing. He needed to do that if he didn’t want to pass out. Logan was counting and Virgil forced himself to follow along. They had already seen him have one panic attack, they really didn’t need to see another. 

Once Virgil had calmed down (again) he spoke, speaking so fast the others could barely understand him, “I’m… I’m so, so sorry! I thought this was my room but, it obviously isn’t, and I really did-didn’t mean to bother you guys and I’m sorry. I can just go,” However, as Virgil attempted to stand, black spots danced before his vision and he almost fell right back down. Through the dizziness, Virgil could feel a hand against his shoulder leading him to, what he assumed was a bed. After sitting for a few moments, Virgil opened his eyes again, grimacing when he saw all three of the boys were looking at him. 

“Are you satisfactory?” Logan asked. Virgil jumped when he spoke but nodded softly once the question registered. He tried to get up again only to be stopped by a hand, Logan’s, on his shoulder, preventing him from leaving. Logan’s brow furrowed as he watched Virgil attempt to leave again, “It would be unwise for you to leave all things considered,” Virgil agreed but he didn’t tell them that.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Patton cleared his throat and smiled, “Okay, well I guess we should introduce ourselves. I’m Patton and these are my boyfriends, Roman and Logan. Um, this is Roman and mine’s room!” The sat in silence for a few more seconds and after Virgil made no move to introduce himself, Patton looked at his boyfriends, faltering.

“And who may you be J Delightful!” Roman boomed from behind Virgil. Though, in all fairness, it did seem like he was trying to be quieter than his usual extroverted self. Virgil suddenly realized that he was practically sitting in Roman’s lap. Making a move to get out of Roman’s lap (his cheeks turned pink just at the thought), Virgil gasped when Roman’s arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back in. Virgil sputtered, cheeks quickly turning darker, “Nice try emo nightmare, but you’re staying right here so you don’t hurt yourself again.” He exclaimed, voice confident. However, after a few seconds of Virgil’s silence, his confidence seemed to slip, “That is unless you’re truly uncomfortable with this in which case I apologize, I just find physical contact grounding in times of panic but I shouldn’t have assumed…”

Virgil took in Roman’s justification before taking a deep breath and making himself relax into the teen's arms. “‘S fine Princey, we’re good like this.” Normally Virgil’s would be hyper fixated on the dark thoughts revolving around the contact but, after sprinting from the school and having about two panic attacks, he was too tired to dwell on it. 

“I… Princey?” Roman questioned. Patton giggled a little at the nickname and even Logan had a small smile on his face. 

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re like a heroic Disney prince...ey,” Virgil claimed, snickering. He was definitely slap-happy; 3 hours of sleep in the past 4 days, a shit-ton of caffeine, and the previous feeling of adrenaline wearing would do that to you, he supposed. “You’re comfy princey,” Virgil announced burrowing father back into Roman. If Virgil wasn’t so completely and utterly exhausted, he would have never done this but, also, Virgil distantly thought that he should enjoy it while it lasted; the three most popular people in school had seen him have multiple panic attacks, probably only helping him through them so a stranger wouldn’t pass out in their room. The entire story would spread around the school like wildfire no doubt, especially with the three boys starting it.

Not that Virgil blamed them or anything. He understood that, sometimes, you have to hurt others in order to help yourself. Just because Virgil had never been brave enough to actually cut someone down to help himself didn’t mean that it how others lived. 

Virgil sighed softly as his eyes drifted closed. He decided that he liked this, a lot. Being surrounded by those three made him feel warm and happy. Virgil can’t remember the last time he was happy. The white noise of the other three murmurings soothed him as he finally drifted off to sleep. And if once Virgil was asleep, Patton pressed a brief kiss to his forehead well, who could blame him.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil wakes up and talks to the bois(tm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning. Please check the end notes for more details. 
> 
> I have been working... on this chapter... for four months... Aughgshgghwrd
> 
> Please Enjoy

The first thing Virgil noticed when he woke up was that, for once, he was pleasantly warm. That was pretty odd, considering he had no control over the dorm’s thermostat and the only protection he had from the freezing room at night was the standard, scratchy dorm blanket. He also was fully clothed which, if he was waking up in a dorm that wasn’t his own was, also odd.

Blinking, Virgil looked around him, making sure to keep his head down so if there were any other occupants of the room they would be unaware that he was awake. He was laying on a dorm bed facing a wall covered in polaroid pictures, posters, and drawings. Scanning the pictures, Virgil tried to recall where he was and how he got here. As he gazed at the various figures in the images, he suddenly realized where he was and what had happened last night. 

There was someone else in the room; Virgil could hear them breathing quietly. Closing his eyes again, Virgil moved, making it look like he was only just waking up. He turned on his side to find Logan sitting on the opposing bed, “Good, you are awake,” Logan said, not looking up from his book. He was wearing a onesie that seemed to be of a unicorn and had a pillow sat in his lap. 

Virgil sat up and looked around; no Roman or Patton. Good, Virgil didn’t think he could handle the two loud extroverts right now. “What time is it?” He questioned, not making eye contact with Logan.

“It is seven-” Logan starts, marking his page in his book.

“Fuck” Virgil interrupts, shooting off of the bed, starting to search for his stuff, “Fuck,” he repeated, “I’ve got classes in half an hour and I still need to go to my dorm,”

“Virgil,” Logan interrupted, calm as ever, as Virgil tries to find his shoes (Someone had taken them off of his feet. Why the fuck would they do that. This is the reason why he slept with his shoes  _ on _ , so if he needed to go he wouldn't have to search for them and fucking-) “Virgil!” Logan interrupts louder this time.

“What!” Virgil growled, aggravated. This is ridiculous; it’s a one-room dorm, how could he not find his fucking shoes? “You did not let me finish. It is currently seven P.M.,” Virgil froze, before turning to look at Logan.

“But, that means-”

“Yes,” Logan responds, adjusting his glasses, “You slept for approximately twenty-five hours,”

“Holy shit,” Virgil mutters. 

“Holy shit, indeed,” Logan responds, a hint of a smile resting on his face. He seemed to relax now that he wasn't having to scream over Virgil’s thoughts. It was quiet for a few more seconds as Virgil processed the information. Suddenly, his eyes went wide as it clicked that he had  _ slept through the entire school day!  _

Virgil’s brain went into crazed mode as his breathing quicked, his hands moving to grip his hair sharply, “Fuck that’s worse! I-I had classes! I can’t fall behind! I don’t have anybody I can get notes from! I-” 

“Virgil,” Logan responded softly, “You are panicking again. I believe it will benefit you to take a moment and simply breathe. Please, come sit and we can go through a few breathing exercises together,” Logan had shuffled to make more room on, what Virgil could clearly tell was, Roman’s bed.

“But-”

“No ‘but’s. Except yours, sitting here next to me, as we breathe,” Virgil’s mind short-circuited for a moment after Logan mentioned his butt, his cheeks quickly reddening. He blinked before moving next to where Logan was, face still a lovely (terrible) shade of crimson.

As Logan ran him through multiple breathing exercises, Virgil thought back to the night before. They had all helped him; him, a random dude who had burst into their dorm and had a panic attack before promptly passing out on one of their beds (Oh God, if Virgil took one of their beds, where did they sleep last night? Were they comfortable? Were they forced to share a bed and were unhappy about it? Is that why the other two weren’t here right now?)

Virgil was pulled into the real world again as he focused on Logan counting. Right, breathing exercises, he could do those. At least, he could try. After a few rounds of breathing, Virgil had slumped against the wall, finally relaxed. 

“Now, Virgil,” Logan started, carefully watching Virgil for any signs of distress. At the sound of Logan’s voice he tensed, but nothing else.  _ Good _ , Logan thought, as he continued, “Roman, Patton, and I congregated and examined what classes we have with you and made sure to take notes for you in those. We were unsure what other classes you had, and felt it would be inappropriate to ask the staff for that information, so we may not have notes for other classes you missed. However, we are willing to email these teachers for you, as your anxiety disorder may make it-”

“Anxiety disorder?” Virgil interrupted, alarmed. He didn’t have an anxiety disorder! He couldn’t have an anxiety disorder. He just… couldn’t. And he didn’t! There was no way!

Logan looked taken aback at the interruption, “I- yes, you display many of the characteristics of someone with an anxiety disorder. We… We assumed you knew,”

“I don’t have an anxiety disorder,” Virgil stated, “I-I don’t. I… I don’t.” 

Logan looked skeptical, “It’s not as uncommon as you may think, Virgil. Nearly one-fifth of people have anxiety. If you would like an official diagnosis, however, I’m sure the school psychiatrist woul-”

“ **NO!** ” Virgil shouted, cutting Logan off. Both of them stared at each other, wide-eyed and surprised, “I’m sorry!” Virgil said, “I just, I  _ can’t  _ have an anxiety disorder. I’m sorry,” he apologized again, looking down. 

“It is okay Virgil, and, for the record, your mental health is nothing to be ashamed about. But, you are obviously uncomfortable with this topic so I will change it. How did you sleep?” Virgil blinked at Logan’s curtness.

“Um,” he stammered, “I... good. I’m sorry I took one of the beds, were you three comfortable?” 

“Oh, yes,” Logan nodded, “Patton and Roman found you being here made an opportune moment for a, as they put it, ‘cuddle party’,” 

“Oh… okay, good,” Virgil said, rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans. The silence felt suffocating as Virgil continued to sit there awkwardly, not looking at Logan. 

“I’m telling you, Ro, they exist!” 

“I’m sorry my sweet Patton, but I simply can’t find it anywhere!”

Patton huffed, turning the handle to the dorm.  _ Fuck _ Virgil thought as Roman and Patton walked in. Patton opened his mouth to reply to Roman, before seeing Virgil, “Oh!” He exclaimed, putting a grocery bag on the desk, “You’re awake!” 

Before Virgil could respond Roman exclaimed, “Finally! I thought we’d have to wake you with a kiss with how long you slept!” 

Virgil blushed, fidgeting next to Logan, “I-I’m awake now, so you won’t need to do… that,” Patton giggled, moving to unpack one of the shopping bags. 

“I was just telling Virgil about his notes,” Logan said, sending an amused glance towards Virgil (who was still. Fucking. Blushing.)

“Ah, yes,” Roman boomed (Virgil was pretty sure Roman only had one setting: loud) before moving to the desk across the room from where Virgil sat. After rifling through stacks of papers, he brought a small stack over to Virgil, “Here,” He said triumphantly, flashing a grin at Virgil. Virgil (who was not blushing  _ again _ , thank you very much) hugged the notes to his chest.

“Thank you,” He murmured, looking down at his lap. Virgil heard some rustling as Patton finished unloading the grocery bags.

“Alrighty!” Patton said, hand on his hips, “We’ve got everything we need!”  _ “Why, we’ve got everything we need, right here.” _

Patton was quietly babbling about the movie night they were doing as Virgil scanned the room for his shoes. When Roman opened one of the wardrobes to put his jacket away, Virgil saw them sitting at the bottom, next to some  (really pretty) red heels. Confused about why a dorm of men would have heels in their wardrobe, Virgil continued staring, completely forgetting about why he was looking into the wardrobe in the first place, “What are you staring at, Panic At The Everywhere?” Roman asked, startling Virgil, who had zoned out. Virgil stuttered, looking between the three. 

_ Fuck it _ , Virgil thought,  _ I’m gonna ask them. What’s one more thing to make them mad about? _ Virgil knew that, in reality, ‘one more thing’ could be the difference between life and death. But, all things considered, Virgil didn’t care, “Why are there heels in the closet?” He asked, messing with his hoodie sleeve. 

Roman seemed to brighten at the question and grinned, “They’re mine!” Roman stated proudly. Virgil blinked, watching the other three for any sign that this was a joke.

“But…” Virgil mumbled after a few moments of silence, “You’re a boy…” Virgil trailed off, looking at Roman. 

“Yes I am!” Roman stated, smiling wider.

Virgil gulped as he noticed the other three staring at him, watching for what he would say next, “But-but heels are for girls…” Virgil said, wincing. He didn’t want to offend Roman! He just wanted to understand, he supposed.

Roman made a noise and held a hand to his chest, “Why, I’ll have you know that people can dress however they want! Boys can wear dresses and heels just like girls can wear suits! And there are people who aren’t boys or girls and people who are both who can dress however they like too!” 

Virgil scrunched his nose and tilted his head slightly to the side, “But aren’t heels made for girls? And-and what do you mean there are people who aren’t a boy  _ or _ a girl? And how can people be both?” Virgil asked, overwhelmed and confused.

“Virgil,” Logan’s steady voice broke though, “This is nothing to panic about,” He said softly.

“Yeah, kiddo!” Patton affirmed, “We’re just talking.”  _ “We just wanna talk, Virgil… just follow us” _

“But, I’m being offensive!” Virgil said, sounding disgusted with himself, “I should go,” he said quietly.

“No!” Roman yelled, causing Virgil to frown and burrow deeper into his hoodie, “I may have… overreacted, just a tad. You really aren’t being offensive you just, don’t understand,”

“Which is fine!” Patton interrupted when he saw Virgil’s face, “That’s why we were talking about it! To understand each other's ideas!” 

Virgil looked skeptical as Logan spoke, “I personally have enjoyed what little time I have spent in your company, Virgil. I believe we would all like to talk to you more however, we understand if you would like to return to your own dorm,” 

Virgil looked around, rubbing his hands on his pants, “Um… what did you mean about people who aren’t a boy or a girl?” Virgil asked quietly.

Roman grinned, spinning on his feet before landing on the bed next to Virgil, “Well…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings  
> Unreliable narrator (Virgil's thoughts are based on what he has been taught throughout his life)  
> Slight panic  
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING!!!
> 
> I hope you're having a great time whenever you're reading this and, if you're not, that's okay too! Stay safe and have a great rest of your day!


	3. (Good) announcement

Hey guys! I’m really sorry this isn’t the next chapter (which I am working on!) but I’ve got a fun announcement! I made a discord server specifically for my fics and the readers (that’s you!) You’ll be able to chat with fellow readers, discuss theories & head cannons, be first to receive notice of announcements, chat & ask me questions, and more! I was originally gonna ask if anybody was interested in this but then I just ended up doing it sporadically lol. So... here you go? As always, thanks for the patience and all the love. I hope this excites you as much as it does me! Bye!

<https://discord.com/invite/7bE8znR>

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Being chased  
> Panic attack(s)  
> Please let me know if I need to add anything!
> 
> Should I have added another of my books on AO3? Probably not. Am I doing it anyways? Hell yeah.
> 
> Anyways, did you like that fluff at the end? Well, don’t get used to it [insert evil laughter here]. For real though, check the trigger warnings if you need to, this is going to be a very angsty book. However, I can promise a happy ending! Please stay safe! Peace out my homesicles and thanks!


End file.
